My Job and My Spirituality

As I had mentioned in a previous post, I was having trouble with my job and had been in a dark place when I found Common Ground.  I was miserable at work, I often came home crying, I was irritable, mean to my family and all around a horrible person.  I hated going to work and would just get angry and upset thinking about it.  I was no longer a happy person in the morning and I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror.  What had I become? 

As I continued to read "A Purpose Drive Life",  a friend and coworkers voice echoed in my head "You don't belong here (the bank), you have a different purpose."  (THANK YOU LORI!!)

I different purpose in life meant a few things, I would have to leave my comfort zone.  As much as I was miserable, I was comfortably miserable with my job.  It meant I would have to look for a new job and face disappointment if people didn't like me.  It meant that I might not be good enough to get another job.  Was I ready for that?  I continued to pray and read my book.  Now mind you, I was not reading "the" Book.. I owned a bible but I wasn't reading it.  That is a completely different post altogether. 

I prayed and prayed that something would happen that would make me understand my path and the purpose that God had for me in life.  On Sunday October 4th, something in my life happened that would change things completely.  I apologize for not being able to share the "something" but it's not my story to tell but I can tell you that it was very upsetting to me and would be the start of a change.  I called my boss that Sunday night to tell her what happened just so she would know in case I acted differently or if I needed to change my schedule at work.  She sounded very sincere when she told me to let her know if I needed anything.  Well I did, I needed some time off on Thursday.  I will not knock my previous employer or boss but let's just say that the request didn't get received as well as it should have and I will leave it at that. 

The next day was Friday and I had already scheduled a vacation for the following week (That was scheduled almost a year in advance).  The more I thought and prayed, I knew in my heart that this was my chance to try to find a different job with the purpose that God had given me.  I packed my desk on Friday without a real plan or a new job.  I can't even begin to explain to you why I did it.  It wasn't out of anger or spite.  It was like I had just had enough and something or someone was leading me to do it.  If anyone knows me, I am solid at work, I never call in, I plan days off weeks/months in advance, I have never been fired, I have never walked off a job.  It just isn't me to think about quitting a job without a new job.  Even the women I worked with didn't think I was going to do it.  They just assumed I needed time to relax and cool off and that I would be back after vacation. 

I remember getting home that night with all my belongings and my husband just looked at me.  I told him that I didn't want to go back.  He said that we really couldn't afford it but if I didn't want to go back we would make it work.  He also said he would really prefer that I found a new job before I got rid of the old one.  A warmth came over me and I smiled and said I would have a new job.  I don't even know where that came from.  I didn't even have any leads and I didn't want to go back to the same profession. 

I remember knowing that I needed to put in applications quickly which I did.  I actually did apply to some companies in the same profession as the one I was leaving.  However, I had gotten my Masters in Social Work in May so I found a job listing for a social worker and I was guided to apply for that job.  Never in a million years did I think I would get a call, I do not have recent experience in direct care nor do I have my license since I decided to stay in my old profession.  Not only did I get a call but I got an interview.  An interview that led to a job offer that led to me having a new job before I was due to go back to work. 

I called my boss on October 16th and was giving her a weeks notice since I would start my training for my new job on October 26th.  I knew that she would walk me out as soon as she had the chance but I still had to do the right thing and give her as much notice as I could.  Needless to say that when I returned to work on the morning of the 19th, I was shown the door immediately.  Just so everyone is clear, I can honestly say I am smiling when I write this.  It was probably one of the best weeks of my life.  I was able to spend time with my daughter, I was able to get ready to start a new job, I cooked for my husband, I was able to be a stay at home wife for a week, it was pretty fun. 

I can also say sincerely that I would love to thank my boss and even her boss and I would if I thought that they would understand.  No matter how miserable I was at my job and yes they influenced that misery, I want to thank them.  They were the push I needed, the push I think God saw that I needed.  God saw that opening and he took it.  I am so happy with my life and I haven't been this happy in a long time.

I can honestly tell you that I wasn't a believer at first that God knew my purpose, I thought I knew my purpose.  It wasn't until I turned my life over to God that I found my true purpose and I am so happy.  Now I am not saying that this is God's purpose for me my entire life because it might not be.  What I am saying is that if you are unhappy, if you are miserable, if you are not a good person because of your job you need to turn it over to God and allow him to guide you to your purpose.