Sorry that I haven't been posting lately but I have been getting into the swing of my new job. A much bigger change due to working second shift now. Who would have thought that changing a shift would cause so much chaos with my body. My body wanted to come home from work at twelve in the morning and clean and cook and hang out. Everyone else in my house wanted me to shut up and go to bed. However, things are better and I have found a routine that I can be happy with for the most part. I will honestly admit that sometimes my body needs to catch up and I will stay up until three in the morning and my body decides to sleep until noon.
Anyway, as a Christian over the years I kept hearing the word devotional. I could picture a little old Catholic grandma with her rosary tightly held in one fist and a worn small book in the other. Definitely didn't think this was something for me. I also didn't think it would be something that I ever bought for myself. However, I have been hearing it more and more. Well let me tell you that there are devotionals for every one. I even found one written by the people in Duck Dynasty, I was pretty blown away. Another thing I was, was intimidated. There are shelves and shelves and stores and stores of devotions you can buy.
Well I broke it down into something meaning daily prayer and I knew like everything else about my faith, it had to speak to me figuratively. Well after spending four hours online, three hours combing stores and digging through shelf after shelf. I found it... it was the proverbially AHA moment in my life as far as devotionals go. I have these moments that happen in my religious life. I need a light to go off in my head, sometimes God even needs to smack me hard with something to get me to pay attention..
Moving on, my new devotional is called "365 Devotions to Embrace What Matters Most" and its written by John Michalak. Totally giving credit where credit is due here. Now if you ask me what his religious training is that he feels he can write a devotional, I will tell you that I don't know and I also don't care. Anyone that wants to speak the word to me and make me think and pray and contemplate who I am, is welcomed into my home.
I think the key phrase that got me is was the very last paragraph on the back of the book. It states and yes I am quoting him "Embrace what matters most, and start living a life rich with purpose, delight and eternal meaning." I will say this every time someone asks me, its all about purpose. I am here because God has a purpose for me. I haven't figured it out and most likely I never will but I am here for a reason.
I am pretty excited and scared to start my devotional. It starts each week on Sunday which means it started this morning. The first section is called "All About Me" and I have a feeling I will be doing a lot of self reflection which should be interesting since I lost my mom in January of 2014. Just two days after my birthday. It will be interesting because I said out loud to the world that I forgave her and was at peace. Perhaps I am, or perhaps I still hold a little bit more inside that I can work through with my devotional.
I cannot promise you sunshine and roses this year on my blog, but I can and will promise that you get honesty, you get my opinions (whether we agree or disagree), you will get my love and you will see into my world and my love of God.
Sunday, January 3, 2016
Thursday, November 19, 2015
My personal take on the refugees
I was going to sit quietly on this topic but as most of you know, I don't sit quietly about much. There are many things being said lately. "We need to offer a place for displaced refugees". "We need to lock down our borders". "We need to worry about our own." "There are homeless and starving children in our country."
First, let me tell you that I am a huge advocate on taking care of our own. That was how I was raised and unfortunately probably how I will always stay. To me this mantra means, we take care of those in our house first. What it does not mean is that we overspend and don't give to charity. In fact, we probably give more to charity than we can afford. What it does mean when we give to charity however, is that we give locally first. We take care of our neighbors, our community, our city, our state and so on.
An example of giving locally to charity is that I made a commitment to give some non perishable items to church for a Thanksgiving food bank for a apartment complex we adopted. I was called off work today, wont get a huge paycheck but will follow through with my commitment because it's about giving. I tend to believe that we should be part of the solution not part of the problem.
Now as for the refugees, my heart breaks for them. I pray for peace, the end of world hunger, clean drinking water for all, homes for everyone, I want everyone to have a simple careful life. However, I am not powerful enough alone in prayer or charitable gifting to do it alone. Yes, I am very sorry for them and it makes my hurt heart for what happened, I am not sure I can support refugee placement right now.
I did some research and a refugee when arriving in the US meets with one of the private resettlement agencies in America. They will get cash, food and medical benefits within the first 30 to 90 days. They are entitled to this for up to seven years while becoming a citizen and then they can apply on their own for more benefits once they are a citizen. Refugees, can attend school just like citizens. They can get employment benefits right away. They can leave the US for up to one year at a time and come back without starting over. Immediate family members are automatically part of the deal and will be brought over.
How do we as a country handle all of these expenses? I would like to do our countries budget for one year. I would like to see our president eating ramen noodles for a week so that we could pay our bills and not live in a deficit. I don't know about my readers, but in my family the bank doesn't allow us to live in a deficit. That is called being overdrawn, you get your account closed and reported if we tried to do that.
I would love for everyone to live in the US and be happy, fed, content and warm with a roof over their heads but I think we need to re evaluate. My husband said last night that someone made the comment if people want things to happen they need to be a part of that solution. Are you a part of the problem or a part of the solution? Are you praying? Giving to charity's, not just with dollars but with time and talent? Are you advocating?
We need to start educating ourselves, we need to start reading and asking questions.
First, let me tell you that I am a huge advocate on taking care of our own. That was how I was raised and unfortunately probably how I will always stay. To me this mantra means, we take care of those in our house first. What it does not mean is that we overspend and don't give to charity. In fact, we probably give more to charity than we can afford. What it does mean when we give to charity however, is that we give locally first. We take care of our neighbors, our community, our city, our state and so on.
An example of giving locally to charity is that I made a commitment to give some non perishable items to church for a Thanksgiving food bank for a apartment complex we adopted. I was called off work today, wont get a huge paycheck but will follow through with my commitment because it's about giving. I tend to believe that we should be part of the solution not part of the problem.
Now as for the refugees, my heart breaks for them. I pray for peace, the end of world hunger, clean drinking water for all, homes for everyone, I want everyone to have a simple careful life. However, I am not powerful enough alone in prayer or charitable gifting to do it alone. Yes, I am very sorry for them and it makes my hurt heart for what happened, I am not sure I can support refugee placement right now.
I did some research and a refugee when arriving in the US meets with one of the private resettlement agencies in America. They will get cash, food and medical benefits within the first 30 to 90 days. They are entitled to this for up to seven years while becoming a citizen and then they can apply on their own for more benefits once they are a citizen. Refugees, can attend school just like citizens. They can get employment benefits right away. They can leave the US for up to one year at a time and come back without starting over. Immediate family members are automatically part of the deal and will be brought over.
How do we as a country handle all of these expenses? I would like to do our countries budget for one year. I would like to see our president eating ramen noodles for a week so that we could pay our bills and not live in a deficit. I don't know about my readers, but in my family the bank doesn't allow us to live in a deficit. That is called being overdrawn, you get your account closed and reported if we tried to do that.
I would love for everyone to live in the US and be happy, fed, content and warm with a roof over their heads but I think we need to re evaluate. My husband said last night that someone made the comment if people want things to happen they need to be a part of that solution. Are you a part of the problem or a part of the solution? Are you praying? Giving to charity's, not just with dollars but with time and talent? Are you advocating?
We need to start educating ourselves, we need to start reading and asking questions.
Sunday, November 15, 2015
The Giver
This morning while on my way to church I saw a man at the end of the expressway with a cardboard sign. His sign said that he was homeless and he was asking for help, I can't even tell you the exact words because already my mind was whirling with thoughts.. For those of you that know me, its normal that my mind takes off processing before I finish reading or hearing something.
Until recently I would have had doubts and questioned that man's motives. I would have questioned whether he needed my money more than I did. I would have questioned if he was really homeless. I would have wondered if he was going to use my money for alcohol or drugs. I am going to be brutally honest, I would more often not give or offer help.
Sometimes even just for crappy reasons, like the light turned green during those long moments that I took judging the people asking for help. Traffic had started moving, people behind me were beeping and I would avoid looking at the person with the sign. I would pull away from the intersection feeling guilt and thoughts would go swirl around in my head. I would then begin to wonder, maybe I should have given a few dollars for a cup of coffee or a burger. What if that is all they had all day long when I was going home to a warm house, food and a family? What if they were honest and sincere and didn't really have anything?
God teaches us "Give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to". (Deuteronomy 15:10).
Nowhere does it say that I should judge my fellow man and try to find out if he has more or less than me. It does not allow me to judge what he uses my gift for. It just says give generously to him and you will be blessed. There are no ultimatums, no compromises, no interpretations, just give. While I am not saying grab your wallet and hand over everything you own, I am saying that you should give comfortably. I don't know your situation and you don't know mine. We are different and comfortably for each of us is different. It is not up to you to determine if your money will buy alcohol or hamburgers. Giving is up to you, what the person does with the money is up to them.
I can tell you that this morning was enlightening and embarrassing at the same time. The reason I say this is because I didn't judge, I grabbed my walled and was proud to give him all of my... change. I had no cash, (I had even forgotten to get money for the offering plate!) just loose change and it came to a dollar. I profusely apologized for not having more and he looked at me with a warm smile and said every little bit helps, God bless you. It was at that moment that I knew God was going to bless me. God loves me and God blesses me and God takes care of me.
The lesson today, do not judge, do not question, give comfortably and you will be blessed.
Until recently I would have had doubts and questioned that man's motives. I would have questioned whether he needed my money more than I did. I would have questioned if he was really homeless. I would have wondered if he was going to use my money for alcohol or drugs. I am going to be brutally honest, I would more often not give or offer help.
Sometimes even just for crappy reasons, like the light turned green during those long moments that I took judging the people asking for help. Traffic had started moving, people behind me were beeping and I would avoid looking at the person with the sign. I would pull away from the intersection feeling guilt and thoughts would go swirl around in my head. I would then begin to wonder, maybe I should have given a few dollars for a cup of coffee or a burger. What if that is all they had all day long when I was going home to a warm house, food and a family? What if they were honest and sincere and didn't really have anything?
God teaches us "Give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to". (Deuteronomy 15:10).
Nowhere does it say that I should judge my fellow man and try to find out if he has more or less than me. It does not allow me to judge what he uses my gift for. It just says give generously to him and you will be blessed. There are no ultimatums, no compromises, no interpretations, just give. While I am not saying grab your wallet and hand over everything you own, I am saying that you should give comfortably. I don't know your situation and you don't know mine. We are different and comfortably for each of us is different. It is not up to you to determine if your money will buy alcohol or hamburgers. Giving is up to you, what the person does with the money is up to them.
I can tell you that this morning was enlightening and embarrassing at the same time. The reason I say this is because I didn't judge, I grabbed my walled and was proud to give him all of my... change. I had no cash, (I had even forgotten to get money for the offering plate!) just loose change and it came to a dollar. I profusely apologized for not having more and he looked at me with a warm smile and said every little bit helps, God bless you. It was at that moment that I knew God was going to bless me. God loves me and God blesses me and God takes care of me.
The lesson today, do not judge, do not question, give comfortably and you will be blessed.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
My Job and My Spirituality
As I had mentioned in a previous post, I was having trouble with my job and had been in a dark place when I found Common Ground. I was miserable at work, I often came home crying, I was irritable, mean to my family and all around a horrible person. I hated going to work and would just get angry and upset thinking about it. I was no longer a happy person in the morning and I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. What had I become?
As I continued to read "A Purpose Drive Life", a friend and coworkers voice echoed in my head "You don't belong here (the bank), you have a different purpose." (THANK YOU LORI!!)
I different purpose in life meant a few things, I would have to leave my comfort zone. As much as I was miserable, I was comfortably miserable with my job. It meant I would have to look for a new job and face disappointment if people didn't like me. It meant that I might not be good enough to get another job. Was I ready for that? I continued to pray and read my book. Now mind you, I was not reading "the" Book.. I owned a bible but I wasn't reading it. That is a completely different post altogether.
I prayed and prayed that something would happen that would make me understand my path and the purpose that God had for me in life. On Sunday October 4th, something in my life happened that would change things completely. I apologize for not being able to share the "something" but it's not my story to tell but I can tell you that it was very upsetting to me and would be the start of a change. I called my boss that Sunday night to tell her what happened just so she would know in case I acted differently or if I needed to change my schedule at work. She sounded very sincere when she told me to let her know if I needed anything. Well I did, I needed some time off on Thursday. I will not knock my previous employer or boss but let's just say that the request didn't get received as well as it should have and I will leave it at that.
The next day was Friday and I had already scheduled a vacation for the following week (That was scheduled almost a year in advance). The more I thought and prayed, I knew in my heart that this was my chance to try to find a different job with the purpose that God had given me. I packed my desk on Friday without a real plan or a new job. I can't even begin to explain to you why I did it. It wasn't out of anger or spite. It was like I had just had enough and something or someone was leading me to do it. If anyone knows me, I am solid at work, I never call in, I plan days off weeks/months in advance, I have never been fired, I have never walked off a job. It just isn't me to think about quitting a job without a new job. Even the women I worked with didn't think I was going to do it. They just assumed I needed time to relax and cool off and that I would be back after vacation.
I remember getting home that night with all my belongings and my husband just looked at me. I told him that I didn't want to go back. He said that we really couldn't afford it but if I didn't want to go back we would make it work. He also said he would really prefer that I found a new job before I got rid of the old one. A warmth came over me and I smiled and said I would have a new job. I don't even know where that came from. I didn't even have any leads and I didn't want to go back to the same profession.
I remember knowing that I needed to put in applications quickly which I did. I actually did apply to some companies in the same profession as the one I was leaving. However, I had gotten my Masters in Social Work in May so I found a job listing for a social worker and I was guided to apply for that job. Never in a million years did I think I would get a call, I do not have recent experience in direct care nor do I have my license since I decided to stay in my old profession. Not only did I get a call but I got an interview. An interview that led to a job offer that led to me having a new job before I was due to go back to work.
I called my boss on October 16th and was giving her a weeks notice since I would start my training for my new job on October 26th. I knew that she would walk me out as soon as she had the chance but I still had to do the right thing and give her as much notice as I could. Needless to say that when I returned to work on the morning of the 19th, I was shown the door immediately. Just so everyone is clear, I can honestly say I am smiling when I write this. It was probably one of the best weeks of my life. I was able to spend time with my daughter, I was able to get ready to start a new job, I cooked for my husband, I was able to be a stay at home wife for a week, it was pretty fun.
I can also say sincerely that I would love to thank my boss and even her boss and I would if I thought that they would understand. No matter how miserable I was at my job and yes they influenced that misery, I want to thank them. They were the push I needed, the push I think God saw that I needed. God saw that opening and he took it. I am so happy with my life and I haven't been this happy in a long time.
I can honestly tell you that I wasn't a believer at first that God knew my purpose, I thought I knew my purpose. It wasn't until I turned my life over to God that I found my true purpose and I am so happy. Now I am not saying that this is God's purpose for me my entire life because it might not be. What I am saying is that if you are unhappy, if you are miserable, if you are not a good person because of your job you need to turn it over to God and allow him to guide you to your purpose.
As I continued to read "A Purpose Drive Life", a friend and coworkers voice echoed in my head "You don't belong here (the bank), you have a different purpose." (THANK YOU LORI!!)
I different purpose in life meant a few things, I would have to leave my comfort zone. As much as I was miserable, I was comfortably miserable with my job. It meant I would have to look for a new job and face disappointment if people didn't like me. It meant that I might not be good enough to get another job. Was I ready for that? I continued to pray and read my book. Now mind you, I was not reading "the" Book.. I owned a bible but I wasn't reading it. That is a completely different post altogether.
I prayed and prayed that something would happen that would make me understand my path and the purpose that God had for me in life. On Sunday October 4th, something in my life happened that would change things completely. I apologize for not being able to share the "something" but it's not my story to tell but I can tell you that it was very upsetting to me and would be the start of a change. I called my boss that Sunday night to tell her what happened just so she would know in case I acted differently or if I needed to change my schedule at work. She sounded very sincere when she told me to let her know if I needed anything. Well I did, I needed some time off on Thursday. I will not knock my previous employer or boss but let's just say that the request didn't get received as well as it should have and I will leave it at that.
The next day was Friday and I had already scheduled a vacation for the following week (That was scheduled almost a year in advance). The more I thought and prayed, I knew in my heart that this was my chance to try to find a different job with the purpose that God had given me. I packed my desk on Friday without a real plan or a new job. I can't even begin to explain to you why I did it. It wasn't out of anger or spite. It was like I had just had enough and something or someone was leading me to do it. If anyone knows me, I am solid at work, I never call in, I plan days off weeks/months in advance, I have never been fired, I have never walked off a job. It just isn't me to think about quitting a job without a new job. Even the women I worked with didn't think I was going to do it. They just assumed I needed time to relax and cool off and that I would be back after vacation.
I remember getting home that night with all my belongings and my husband just looked at me. I told him that I didn't want to go back. He said that we really couldn't afford it but if I didn't want to go back we would make it work. He also said he would really prefer that I found a new job before I got rid of the old one. A warmth came over me and I smiled and said I would have a new job. I don't even know where that came from. I didn't even have any leads and I didn't want to go back to the same profession.
I remember knowing that I needed to put in applications quickly which I did. I actually did apply to some companies in the same profession as the one I was leaving. However, I had gotten my Masters in Social Work in May so I found a job listing for a social worker and I was guided to apply for that job. Never in a million years did I think I would get a call, I do not have recent experience in direct care nor do I have my license since I decided to stay in my old profession. Not only did I get a call but I got an interview. An interview that led to a job offer that led to me having a new job before I was due to go back to work.
I called my boss on October 16th and was giving her a weeks notice since I would start my training for my new job on October 26th. I knew that she would walk me out as soon as she had the chance but I still had to do the right thing and give her as much notice as I could. Needless to say that when I returned to work on the morning of the 19th, I was shown the door immediately. Just so everyone is clear, I can honestly say I am smiling when I write this. It was probably one of the best weeks of my life. I was able to spend time with my daughter, I was able to get ready to start a new job, I cooked for my husband, I was able to be a stay at home wife for a week, it was pretty fun.
I can also say sincerely that I would love to thank my boss and even her boss and I would if I thought that they would understand. No matter how miserable I was at my job and yes they influenced that misery, I want to thank them. They were the push I needed, the push I think God saw that I needed. God saw that opening and he took it. I am so happy with my life and I haven't been this happy in a long time.
I can honestly tell you that I wasn't a believer at first that God knew my purpose, I thought I knew my purpose. It wasn't until I turned my life over to God that I found my true purpose and I am so happy. Now I am not saying that this is God's purpose for me my entire life because it might not be. What I am saying is that if you are unhappy, if you are miserable, if you are not a good person because of your job you need to turn it over to God and allow him to guide you to your purpose.
Monday, November 2, 2015
New Member Get Together
Sunday September 20th was the new member get together at Grand Traverse Pie Company. I was very intrigued about the church and I wanted to find out more and more. I had questions that I needed answered. I need to know more about the "all is welcome" belief, I needed to know about funding. How could a new church be able to afford the things that I have seen so far? Would I eventually be drinking the kool-aid?
My husband and I went and my daughter Danni tagged along to check things out. Now I must tell a brief history of Danni (my daughter) with church. She has probably been let down by the church as much if not more than the next person. Danni has her own demons that she is personally dealing with and that is her story to share and not mine at this time. Let's just say that I feel she could benefit from coming back to the church. Her only compromise was that she would not allow the church to buy her dinner or dessert. She wanted them to have no holds on her whatsoever and I could respect that knowing what she had gone through.
So we went and we offered to buy our own dinner as well because I could see her point but they did indeed buy our dinner but I did pay for Danni's. I turned around and donated that money later to the homeless as an offset. I needed to give back just as they had given to us. We were in the small room at the pie company and our pastor began telling his story and his story apparently hit home to Danni because the next thing I knew, she was having a panic attack and rushing from the room not to be seen again until I got home.
Again the people were friendly and when we got to the question and answer portion, I almost felt bad for asking the hard hitting questions BUT I had never joined a new church in it's infancy. My questions were answered gracefully but not overly practiced so I felt confident in the answers I was given. It was that evening that I told my new pastor my story about how I was drawn to Common Ground. I told him of my dark and scary place, how I didn't know if I could get out of that place alone but through God and his guidance... in my words, an article, a movie, a book and a worship service, I became a different person. My husband can even vouch for this.
It was like a dark heavy cloud was lifted from me in one week. I had given up on myself and forgotten God in the process. I allowed people to treat me badly and to make me think that I was not of worth.
My husband and I went and my daughter Danni tagged along to check things out. Now I must tell a brief history of Danni (my daughter) with church. She has probably been let down by the church as much if not more than the next person. Danni has her own demons that she is personally dealing with and that is her story to share and not mine at this time. Let's just say that I feel she could benefit from coming back to the church. Her only compromise was that she would not allow the church to buy her dinner or dessert. She wanted them to have no holds on her whatsoever and I could respect that knowing what she had gone through.
So we went and we offered to buy our own dinner as well because I could see her point but they did indeed buy our dinner but I did pay for Danni's. I turned around and donated that money later to the homeless as an offset. I needed to give back just as they had given to us. We were in the small room at the pie company and our pastor began telling his story and his story apparently hit home to Danni because the next thing I knew, she was having a panic attack and rushing from the room not to be seen again until I got home.
Again the people were friendly and when we got to the question and answer portion, I almost felt bad for asking the hard hitting questions BUT I had never joined a new church in it's infancy. My questions were answered gracefully but not overly practiced so I felt confident in the answers I was given. It was that evening that I told my new pastor my story about how I was drawn to Common Ground. I told him of my dark and scary place, how I didn't know if I could get out of that place alone but through God and his guidance... in my words, an article, a movie, a book and a worship service, I became a different person. My husband can even vouch for this.
It was like a dark heavy cloud was lifted from me in one week. I had given up on myself and forgotten God in the process. I allowed people to treat me badly and to make me think that I was not of worth.
Sunday, November 1, 2015
The Beginning of the End (Part 2)
We are at the part of the story that I had begun reading "A Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren and the date was September 19th 2015. A big decision was upon me, they had invited me to the movie, I had met the people but was I really prepared to go to an ice arena and worship with strangers. I think God has a great sense of humor sometimes and led me there because of my love of hockey. I figured it couldn't be all bad if I was going to a hockey stadium. Of course, I asked my husband to go with me and he did (by the way, he is amazing!).
We got up early the morning of September 20th and drove to Wings Stadium and thoughts were just flying around my head. Would they like me? Would I like them? Would they have the same beliefs? Would we sacrifice a goat? I know, I know.. but strange thoughts go through your head when you go outside your comfort zone especially when dealing with something as intimate as church.
We walked in and were greeted as friends and neighbors. No one was overly pushy but they were also not snobby either. We went downstairs and my first thought was where are they taking us.. ? We got to an area and that's going to be what I call it because I really can't define it. There were chairs, backdrops, lights (I remember the pretty blues!) and banners. As my husband Steve called it, it was like a "Christian Rave". There was a drum set, electric guitar, mics and amps.. it was amazing. If you ask me what we learned that day during service I will give you a deer in the head light look. I cannot tell you one word of the gospel from that day but what I can tell you is still overwhelming me.
I was overcome by such emotion and I felt like I was wrapped in God's embrace. I felt the warmth of a comfortable blanket and I felt like I was at home. I can tell you that the tears flowed from almost the moment we sat down until the very last note of the final song. Through my eyes, I saw and felt the love in that "area". I saw people of various ages, backgrounds and "stereotypes" worshiping together as Jesus himself would have wanted. It is so hard to explain, as I sit here trying to find the words I just cannot express to you how loved, protected and at peace I felt.
After service, we formed small groups. This has got to be one of my most favorite parts of worship. I love meeting people and finding the connections that we all have to each other and to the Lord. In our small group, we spoke about faith. In my new church we are allowed to have different opinions and no one judges or tells anyone that they are wrong. No one tells people to go home and pray to find the "right" answer. Everyone is allowed to be at their own place in their faith journey and I LOVE IT!! I want to scream to the heavens ALLELUIA!
I went home that day with an inner peace and that feeling of comfort and love and I knew that I needed to continue the journey to see where this new mystical church would take me.
Come back and visit to see what happens next!
We got up early the morning of September 20th and drove to Wings Stadium and thoughts were just flying around my head. Would they like me? Would I like them? Would they have the same beliefs? Would we sacrifice a goat? I know, I know.. but strange thoughts go through your head when you go outside your comfort zone especially when dealing with something as intimate as church.
We walked in and were greeted as friends and neighbors. No one was overly pushy but they were also not snobby either. We went downstairs and my first thought was where are they taking us.. ? We got to an area and that's going to be what I call it because I really can't define it. There were chairs, backdrops, lights (I remember the pretty blues!) and banners. As my husband Steve called it, it was like a "Christian Rave". There was a drum set, electric guitar, mics and amps.. it was amazing. If you ask me what we learned that day during service I will give you a deer in the head light look. I cannot tell you one word of the gospel from that day but what I can tell you is still overwhelming me.
I was overcome by such emotion and I felt like I was wrapped in God's embrace. I felt the warmth of a comfortable blanket and I felt like I was at home. I can tell you that the tears flowed from almost the moment we sat down until the very last note of the final song. Through my eyes, I saw and felt the love in that "area". I saw people of various ages, backgrounds and "stereotypes" worshiping together as Jesus himself would have wanted. It is so hard to explain, as I sit here trying to find the words I just cannot express to you how loved, protected and at peace I felt.
After service, we formed small groups. This has got to be one of my most favorite parts of worship. I love meeting people and finding the connections that we all have to each other and to the Lord. In our small group, we spoke about faith. In my new church we are allowed to have different opinions and no one judges or tells anyone that they are wrong. No one tells people to go home and pray to find the "right" answer. Everyone is allowed to be at their own place in their faith journey and I LOVE IT!! I want to scream to the heavens ALLELUIA!
I went home that day with an inner peace and that feeling of comfort and love and I knew that I needed to continue the journey to see where this new mystical church would take me.
Come back and visit to see what happens next!
Thursday, October 29, 2015
The Beginning of the End
I title this post the beginning of the end because I am hoping and praying to God that this is the how I begin the ending of my journey to find the right church and exactly where I belong. My road has been long and hard and the path was not always straight or clear and yes I sometimes gave up but I found my strength through God to continue even at my lowest points.
Recently, I was at one of the very lowest points of my life, a place of darkness that I had never found myself in. A place that was scary and made me afraid, I even thought of self harm that included suicide. I thought I was a failure to myself and to my family and felt that they would be so much better off without me.
I had just taken an assessment at work that would dictate if I got to keep my job or not and I knew that I had not fared so well. I picked up a magazine, something I don't think I had ever picked up before. I flipped through and went to put the magazine down but something stopped me, I flipped through it again and found an article called Church 2.0 (here is the link if you are interested http://www.encorekalamazoo.com/building-church-20). Something about the authors writings hit home with me. It was everything that I had never knew in a church and everything I was not comfortable with but I was drawn to it. Throughout the day (yes I failed the test) I continued to think about the "new" church. I thought about it so much that I went home and found it on Facebook. I wanted to know more and more about this new church. I even read their website over and over. I was fascinated and I wanted to know more and more.
Common Ground Church is the name of the church that became my obsession. I wanted to meet the people, go to the worship and I wanted to hear the teachings. On their Facebook page, they were inviting people to attend the movie The Captive (I must say, this is highly recommended!!). I wanted to see this movie but I wanted to meet the people even more. I was afraid though, would they meet my expectations, would they want me to drink the kool-aid, would they want me at all? I got tickets from the people at the church and I came prepared, I brought a friend who is married to a pastor. Yes, I will admit I brought a pastor to protect me from them. Quite silly now that I think back on it.
I attended the movie and they were amazing people. They didn't swarm me with welcomes but there were smiles and friendly hellos. Just enough to keep my curiosity peaked but not too much to scare me away. The movie was amazing and has to do with the book "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren. I was so touched and so embraced by God that the next morning I asked my husband to go to the Christian store with me so I could get the book. I read it all the time and my pages clearly show it. I think the most important thing that I found along the way so far is that I am not here to fulfill my purpose. I am here to fulfill God's purpose and at that time I didn't even know what that was.
To be continued...
Recently, I was at one of the very lowest points of my life, a place of darkness that I had never found myself in. A place that was scary and made me afraid, I even thought of self harm that included suicide. I thought I was a failure to myself and to my family and felt that they would be so much better off without me.
I had just taken an assessment at work that would dictate if I got to keep my job or not and I knew that I had not fared so well. I picked up a magazine, something I don't think I had ever picked up before. I flipped through and went to put the magazine down but something stopped me, I flipped through it again and found an article called Church 2.0 (here is the link if you are interested http://www.encorekalamazoo.com/building-church-20). Something about the authors writings hit home with me. It was everything that I had never knew in a church and everything I was not comfortable with but I was drawn to it. Throughout the day (yes I failed the test) I continued to think about the "new" church. I thought about it so much that I went home and found it on Facebook. I wanted to know more and more about this new church. I even read their website over and over. I was fascinated and I wanted to know more and more.
Common Ground Church is the name of the church that became my obsession. I wanted to meet the people, go to the worship and I wanted to hear the teachings. On their Facebook page, they were inviting people to attend the movie The Captive (I must say, this is highly recommended!!). I wanted to see this movie but I wanted to meet the people even more. I was afraid though, would they meet my expectations, would they want me to drink the kool-aid, would they want me at all? I got tickets from the people at the church and I came prepared, I brought a friend who is married to a pastor. Yes, I will admit I brought a pastor to protect me from them. Quite silly now that I think back on it.
I attended the movie and they were amazing people. They didn't swarm me with welcomes but there were smiles and friendly hellos. Just enough to keep my curiosity peaked but not too much to scare me away. The movie was amazing and has to do with the book "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren. I was so touched and so embraced by God that the next morning I asked my husband to go to the Christian store with me so I could get the book. I read it all the time and my pages clearly show it. I think the most important thing that I found along the way so far is that I am not here to fulfill my purpose. I am here to fulfill God's purpose and at that time I didn't even know what that was.
To be continued...
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